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Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I saw a couple of girl's pictures/albums, all related to me, and though they were not related to one another at all, they all shared a similarity:With their loved other half, they were the epitome of happiness, and every reason for me to envy the life, and love they experience. I hate envying, i always tell others not to, cuz it doesn't serve to make one feel better in any way. But, i couldn't help it this time! Its not fair, really. I immediately called up my sis to ask about so-and-so, and muttered: "I don't understand..." and I was about to say "SHE'S SO BLEEDING LUCKY, Why.. Why is it, Did you see?" And before i even said anything, she magically seemed to understand what i was about to say, or what i was feeling, and went on to say "Jie, don't envy, its okay.. You'll be better." That totally got me thinkin to myself. How on earth will i be better? What is it about my life right now that looks like its gonna even get better? How can she see it when even i, don't? Still, i love her, for trying that little bit, to let a little light in on what is seeming like a cloudy, cloudy reality.. shrouded by a lot of doubts. Too different. They're loaded, they have LUCK, they have money to do a lot of things, things which i have to earn my ass off for. Its totally different. My whole life's about earning this, and that. Earning money, respect,position, feelings, and a lot of other things i really don't wish to say or touch on. Still, i love her, for trying that little bit, to let a little light in on what is seeming like a cloudy, cloudy reality.. shrouded by a lot of doubts. Its just too depressing. And unfair. But Life, oh life, is NEVER , fair. |
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