No one, should ever let anyone else make them feel sorry for how they look like. I mean, what gives them the right to, when they are just as ordinary a human being, as me, as you, as anyone else????
Okay, so i don't look like her, her or her. So what happens, then?
Its sad, that things like these happen. Unfortunately, it is very true, and this terrible behaviour has been displayed by many, and lucky for me, flaws i may have many, but the very few that i can call, 'people close to my heart' , have been kind and unbiased. Till.. well, hmmm.
There was a period of time in my childhood where i'd wish i wasn't so ugly, different. Cuz my aunt used to compare me with her daughters, she would say i'm short, shapeless, small eyed, topped with a big mouth. i wished everyday i'd be accepted, and that i'd fit in. Like,why do i have plump lips? Why can't i have thin lips like the many other girls? Why am i single eyelidded instead of double, unlike the many other girls? Why do i have such a wide smile/mouth, why can't i have a tiny mouth just like the many other girls? Why?I always thought to be beautiful, one had to fit in, and look like everyone else. THAT, defined the term 'beautiful'. It seemed like if one had bigger, double lidded eyes, a small and cute mouth, one would have more friends, and be deemed as sweet, and cute, pretty, etc.
Then, as i grew up and made friends, the true friends, never had anything to say about how each of us looked like. Why? Because we were friends with each other for the joy and company each one of us brought each other, not because she had a cute nose, or nice lips and etc.
As i proceeded to have friends of the opposite gender, the guys would tease about how who looked like what, or whatever, but more often than not, the MEN never seemed to say anything about looks, or anything about how one's features didn't quite make it.
And i began to hear things like, '' I think you have a gorgeous smile, why would you want a smaller mouth,silly? Never mind what others say, you wouldn't have a smile like that with small or thinly pursed lips. Besides, thin lips do make people look fierce and unfriendly." Also, stuff like '' u have nice teeth! Did you ever wear braces?'' Or, ''I think you've really nice oriental eyes. Don't ever wish you had doubles, cuz this is what makes you unique, and very you. Your eyes suit you to a T!". All these, from both male and female friends/aqquaintances.
Now, after all i've written here, i've realised something: Why am i saying all this? I don't know. Maybe its cuz i now see something that i have all along deluded myself into not seeing or knowing.
That it is a lie,when people say beauty has no definition. In this real world, being beautiful means having a certain standard look, and features.
And i don't know why i still feel the least affected by a small remark, when i'm supposed to be used to it already, after all the worst things i've heard when i was much younger.
The remarks seem exceptionally piercing from a close one.
I miss you, Ah Kong. At least you were and i believe you are still, my greatest fan. I know that, because the love you gave to me was unconditional, unlike any others. Because you looked at me with your heart, not with your eyes. And In your eyes, i was the prettiest, the most intelligent one, no matter what others said. You protected me no matter what, and when. I never, never felt vulnerable around you. You were my never crumbling fort, my security blanket. I love you, and i'm sorry i haven't seen you sooner.
