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Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I know things have been going okay, i'm definitely not itching to ignite a quarrel or whatsoever, I just can't help but think. Of everything i know, everything i found out, and everything i had to find out from you, dear. Honesty REALLY, is the best policy dear. If what you're doing is aboveboard and open, I don't see why you can't be honest about it. Thats why, when you say nothing happened (esp with girls) during the times u went out behind my back, i can only keep quiet and hope it really is true. Dear, try to put yourself in my shoes and think, if i did the same, what would be the first thought that comes to your mind? If there's nothing going on between me and who i'm going out with, why should i lie about it? So dear, sorry if i appear sceptical of what u tell me sometimes, or most times.. Cuz if you really give it a good thought, how many times have you not been honest with me; lied to me? From stuff like going out, to stuff like girls and etc. Dear, when i spoke to you about it over steamboat last night, i did it casually, but you must understand, I know u feel "what the hell, can we stop this topic right now" whenever i broach issues like these, but dear.. Things like these MUST be resolved before anyone/both of us can really move on and make progress in our relationship dear! Many a time, I could have kicked up a fuss, made a big hoo-haa of issues like these, i could've used what u said when u were drunk against you when you got sober again, BUT i didn't. I didn't even quarrel with you dear. I kept quiet about it till yesterday evening, when i told you over dinner that i knew what you've done. Dear, i'll be honest with you.. This is really the strongest i can be already. Honest. To be frank, deep down in my heart, i'm really, really afraid. Afraid that the next time it won't just be finding out bout you going out with girls, or messaging/calling them behind my back, etc, but something far worse. Dear, I'm really scared, so damn scared of this all, and scared of losing you. I'm not angry at all, dear. I just want you to understand how much you, and this relationship means to me. Sweetheart, take it as a favour, take it as a plea. Please, prove to me that old habits DON'T die hard. And that you're worth everything that i'm willing to give for this to work. I really, really want to grow old with you. With all my heart, I really do. I Love You. |
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